It Happens

A few months ago my dear friend and I were in Italy.  We will call this friend New because when I went to my new high school she became my best friend. She knows practically all of my secrets and is honest with me about everything (and don't worry legna was not dropped she is and always will be my tip top bestie). New will be in allot more posts do don't worry but getting back to my story: when we were in Italy my dear friend new and I were laughing so hard that she happy farted! (we are lucky I don't use real names). Yes right there a lovely little fart in our room and no she didn't say excuse me or sorry she said, "it happens". Later in English class as we enjoyed or Swedish fish as we do each e-block new accidentally dropped a few of the mighty fish and once again said "it happens" soon all of my friends were saying it. It applied to everything from things that embarrassed you to things that occurred on accident to things that make you so happy you just want to share it with all!  Just think about it for a second, one word then the other, it... Happens... It's so true! Why should we dwell on something that we may not like or makes us unhappy just say, "it happens!" and u can move on. And it explains the good things "why did u find five bucks in the street?". Well, "it happens!". It's genius! You can say it with a smile and a laugh or a frown and some tears. I find it most helpful mainly I. My bad predicaments and the funny accidents myself but we are all different.  My question to you is:

What happened that you are still dwelling on? What do you need to dismiss so you can move on with your life?

Sailing

Have you ever gone sailing? Every summer for the past five summers I have gone to Westport, CT (heaven on earth and sailed.  They say home is where the heart is and in that case it would be here. I love it here my best friends and I always stay with the best uncle and aunt in the world. But that is besides the point!  I'm supposed to be talking about sailing. I love sailing and the reason I love sailing so much is because feeling the wind in my hair and how u can feel the rush of flying a haul and almost capsizing or u can enjoy the tranquility of lazily skimming along the beautiful water. Either way I feel free, FREE!!!!!!! This is one of the best concepts man kind has ever created.  Now freedom can come on many forms. Some may see it in the seance of this country USA and some may see it when there am drops them off at the mall and they can do whatever they want. When I imagine being free I imagine two things (the one I will tell you is better and more important).  Freedom is that feeling right after you are lying in bed when your mind races with work and school and lists for tomorrow and how mad you are at your parents, yes it's right after that. When you start to think about what nourishes you soul and you mind sores! With things that make you happy or calm and pleasant. You think of you dreams in a stress free way, in a way that makes you smile with the ideas of the future. When I sail I get this feelin of freedom. As I think of my dreams of making music in anyway I can.  When I sail these thoughts are not clouded by the fact that there are so many struggling musicians who never made it or with the idea that one day I will have to seriously think about a major or there will at some point be bills for me to pay.  None of that enters my mind just the music and my happy future with a wonderful beautiful man who I love (who I hope I can meet some day).  I think of all the things that make me smile: my dear friends, Westport, music, Bob Marley (whom I plan to marry when he comes back from the dead) and when I sing with my aunt in the car to 1950's musicals and I am so happy my heart could burst!  When I sail I feel like I just might have been placed here for a reason that maybe all the ideas that fill my head could work out for the best!  I have decided now to end every post with a question and hopefully these questions can help you become a better person as they have helped me. My uncle is a phycobablist and he proposed this question to me.

What nourishes your soul?

New

Well I'm not quite sure how these things work.  Day by day I try my best to be good to others and good to myself.  Through the years the latter of these two has been very difficult ( which I'll go into more in later blogs). I think that by sending my feelings out into the world I can help myself and help others. I'm an OCD dyslexic so this will be quite the adventure for us all I can only hope in the near future my blog can do some good for people so any support anyone could give would be helpful.  I will do my best to make sure this doesn't turn in to me complanning day by day but if it does I'm sorry I'll try to keep it interesting.  I'm not some creeper in my mothers basement in her late 30s but I'm a lively 15 year old ( or so I think). I am trying to get through my previous eating disorder while going through high school surrounded by friends who are all into the new idea of drugs drinking and boyfriends. I am also adopted but u couldnt tell since my whole family is white.  No one quite understands that pain that i sometimes go through as i suffer through thinking of who my mother is and why I was abandoned and left behind so she could live her life. Don't get me wrong my family is great, love them allot, but I am nothing like them which makes it hard. I could go on forever but, this isn't a pity party I'm just trying to tell you a bit about myself.  On a lighter note singing is my passion along with playing guitar and ukulele and I have a 20 year old brother whom I look up to with every inch of my soul.  Finally I have a best friend for almost 11 years now so I may talk about her allot I'll refer to her as legna because it is angel backwards which is exactly what she is she has helped me so much through my life and for that I can't thank her enough. So that's me, I can't wait to start really blogging and once again here are my hopes for this blog: 1) I have a few readers and 2) I can help someone in anyway I can.
To anyone out there... Have a lovely day.